Growing up most of us were taught to tell the truth. Remember: “Honesty is the best policy”. But as time passed we watched adults lie and get away with it. We learned that sometimes when you tell the truth people get upset. And because most people want to avoid confrontation and conflict, we stopped telling the truth all the time. The truth somehow became a good idea… when it was to our advantage to tell it.
The problem with inconsistent truth telling is the blurring of ethical and moral lines. When we lose our ethics and morals;” our own personal truth – we lose ourselves. We lose who we really are deep inside and become who we think we should be to fit in.
It is time to stop worrying about what everyone else will think if we speak our truth. It is time to stop allowing others to tell us what our truth should be. It is time to know our truth, become our truth and to speak our truth.
THIS WEEK’S LESSON:
Discover Your Personal Truth
No one can tell you who you are or what you believe unless you allow them to do it. Sure, it’s easier to go along with the crowd than to stand your ground when problems arise. Some people may have gone with the flow for so long they don’t even know what they believe. But I’m going to help you discover where you stand and what you stand for (see This Week’s Action Step below).
Will it be difficult to speak your truth at first? Probably. Will you have more respect for yourself? Absolutely. Because once you get in touch with your personal truth you will never allow others to tread on it.
We are fed an enormous amount of information every day. We are told what we should think and how we should live our lives based on what the “majority” thinks is correct.
I’m here to tell you that you are not the majority. You are an individual. If everyone on this planet thinks one way, it doesn’t mean you have to conform to that way of thinking. Decide what you believe, what your personal truth is, and stand within it. Let it permeate your being.
And remember to speak your truth with kindness. There’s no reason to be defensive or nasty with anyone about it. You don’t have to defend it. If it’s what you believe there’s no reason to explain yourself. Everyone has their own personal truth. No one has to agree with yours. In fact, when you begin to have a different truth than others you will find that most people will get upset. Don’t be surprised – you can’t control other people. But more importantly, they can no longer control you.
Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.
THIS WEEK’S ACTION STEP
In closing this week, I’d like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead:
What is your personal truth? What do you feel strongly about? Perhaps you don’t even know. Now is as good a time as any to find out!
Here are a few examples to clue you in if you’re not in touch with your own personal truth:
==> A family member says something negative or untrue about another family member. You keep quiet and don’t correct them.
==>A co-worker or supervisor takes credit for your work. You don’t say or do anything.
==>Someone makes a racist or sexist joke at a dinner party. Your only reaction is a slight smile. (You may say: “Mark, but what does that have to do with me? They’re not talking about me.” Your personal truth not only involves your personal truth about yourself, but also how you protect those who are not there to (or cannot) speak for themselves.)
For this exercise take out a journal or notebook and ask yourself your beliefs: not the President of the United States’, your mother’s or your best friend’s beliefs about the following subjects. (Remember, we’re talking about YOUR beliefs):
Then, as you discover your own truth about these things, add subjects as they are presented to you. When someone asks how you feel on a subject, really think about it. If you don’t know, don’t agree with how others feel. Simply say: “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about that.” Later, sit down with yourself and discover your truth about it.
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